I quite like talking to my family about what I do for a living. Perfecting customer experiences through technology means different things for different people and my father is always an enthusiastic sounding board for how technology impacts the everyday consumer. He’s a retired tech-savvy, iPhone-loving, Quicken-loyal, Dell-proud, HD-crazed man that could easily be misunderstood by his brooding good looks, a silver-fox farmer style and his custom crocodile cowboy boots. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have his own opinion about customer service.
My Own Damn Business, 67, DiesThe concept that a few small parts of my life should remain unknown to corporations or colleagues died last night. The cause of death was a coupon from Target for half off hemorrhoid ointment, with the note "We noticed you bought a soft travel pillow last week. People who buy soft travel pillows are 40 percent more likely to seek relief with hemorrhoid cream. Would you like something to soothe your swollen rectal glands?"Born 67 years ago when he first developed the notions of self and shame, My Own Damn Business had been ailing for some time due to numerous questionnaires, surveys, embedded cookies, Facebook's marketing of all my likes and dislikes, Google's list of every search I've ever made, and Hulu's requests about how I rated my "ad experience."
My Own Damn Business is survived by a 68-year-old Christian male who likes grand parenting, hunting , fishing, browsing photos of female swimmers and volleyball players, watching dystopian thrillers, eating southwestern food, and battling eczema. May he rest in peace!